Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thanksgiving Smoked Cockatrice

There are many ways one can cook a cockatrice but smoking it for Thanksgiving Day maintains the moisture and flavor the best. The cooked appearance will be different but don’t let that deter you. If you do not want to attempt hunting your own cockatrice and smoking it the Adventurer’s League will be selling 20lb smoked cockatrices by pre-order. This great deal is by market pickup only the rest of the month for 1000 gold pieces.

If you're smoking your own cockatrice, here's what you'll need:

•    Fresh cockatrice. Be careful when hunting!
•    Smoking pit. Arcane vessels are fine. Avoid using a cauldron of the witch.
•    Apple wood for generating the smoke. Aged treant adds a nice flavor but is not advised.
•    Fuel for your fire with prestidigitation or thaumaturgy if possible.
•    Sharp knife – adamantine is best.
•    Metal rack. Your local blacksmith will be happy to make you one!
•    10’ pole.

First use your knife to carefully remove the beak of the beast. Even in death the slightest scratch could turn you to stone. Every year fledgling arcane cooks become holiday statues because of this. For an extra 100 gold pieces you can have the beak professionally removed which is highly advised.

Be sure to remove any scales on the cockatrice with your knife before smoking. This is especially true if they have any red hue indicating potential draconic like resistances to heat and cooking!

Prepare the smoking pit with your spell of choice. Once the heat in the smoking pit reaches a degree that it would incinerate a goblin, rub the cockatrice with a spice blend of your choice, although the added spices are not really necessary.

Place the cockatrice in the middle of the smoking pit on a metal rack. Add your chosen fruit wood to start the smoking process. Never use any wood which contains large quantities of sap such as pine because of odd flavoring. Additionally check your wood for fairies and other malicious fey which may ruin the smoking process.

The cockatrice should cook for at least one hour before you start checking it.  At this point pour over the smoking cockatrice an even mixture of brown sugar and your favorite holiday ale. 

If the wings are getting too dark, use your 10’ pole to flip the cockatrice now and again inside the smoking pit. This is a great time to practice using the pole before your next dungeon delve!

It will take about 3 to 3½ hours of smoking before the cockatrice will turn a golden brown color. This indicates a nice even arcane smoke has been achieved all around the cockatrice. At this point you will want to remove the cockatrice so it does not become over smoked and dry. Allow it to rest for five to 10 minutes before carving and serve!