Frazetta Armor

Heroes wore less when stories were bigger. 

On the covers of pulp paperbacks and the canvases of Frank Frazetta, warriors strode bare-chested through blood-soaked temples, cloaked in smoke, steel, and not much else. Their armor was always minimal, but their presence? Untouchable. 

I’ve been making Frazetta Armor jokes for years. The chainmail bikini. The enchanted loincloth. That ancient pulp rule that the less you wear, the harder you are to hit. But while prepping my Hyborian-themed Shadowdark campaign, I stopped laughing and started designing. Why not make it real?

This isn’t just a funny item. It’s narrative logic, baked into the bones of pulp fantasy. Frazetta’s heroes didn’t survive because of the gear they wore. They survived because they were the story’s center of gravity. The enchantment doesn’t protect your body, it protects your myth.

Mechanically, the armor keys off two things pulp heroes are known for: being hard to hit or too stubborn to die. You get to choose. DEX or CON, whichever suits your build. But either way, it’s powered by style. Always style.

Here’s the item as it’ll appear in my game:

Frazetta Armor
1 slot, does not count as armor

• This enchanted garment of fur, chain or hide offers no true defense, only undeniable presence.
• While wearing no armor, your AC becomes 10 + CHA modifier + DEX or CON modifier (your choice).
• You may use a shield.Wearing any armor suppresses the magic.
• After a full day, it leaves behind a perfect magical tan line in its exact shape.

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It hasn’t shown up yet in my campaign, but it will. Sooner or later, someone’s going to toss their armor aside, grab a torch, and step shirtless into the crypt like they were born for it. This item works just as well in D&D, or whatever hack you’re running. If the game speaks pulp, this armor listens. 

And when they do, they won’t just look unstoppable. They’ll be unstoppable.

Because in pulp fantasy, you don’t survive with AC. You survive because you look too cool to die.

Want to see the real deal? I visited the Frazetta Art Museum years ago, and the atmosphere is pure magic. Highly recommended if you ever want to feel like you’ve stepped into a painting.