One of the things that cracked me up in the film was the laser raptor. It just seems perfect for a gonzo game session encounter where the characters just think it’s a normal dinosaur. The laser raptor could be the deranged result of some weird radioactive energy being absorbed by the creatures. Or maybe their eyes contain inter-dimensional apertures that release powerful energies from another dimension like Cyclops in X-Men. After goofing around about it on Twitter I decided to make a 5th edition version:
Large beast, unaligned
Armor Class 13 (natural armor)
Hit Points 51 (6d10 + 18)
STR 19 (+4)
DEX 14 (+2)
CON 17 (+3)
INT 02 (- 4)
WIS 12 (+1)
CHA 05 (-3)
Challenge 3 (700 XP)
Skills Perception +5
Senses passive Perception 15
Ambusher. The laser raptor has advantage on attack rolls against any creature it has surprised.
Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d10 + 4) piercing damage.
Laser Eyes. +6 to hit, range 300ft., one target. Hit: 14 (3d8) radiant damage.
While it only has animal intelligence the laser raptor has an innate instinct to use its ranged attack. The laser raptor as the name suggests is incredibly fast and can easily distance itself from melee combatants. Occasionally laser raptors will work in small groups of 2-4 if they are hungry and want to take down a large target or tasty looking group of adventurers.
Player Notes: If you encounter a laser raptor it is best to stay still as they react to movement. Should combat ensue close the distance with the laser raptor or your character will become a french fried memory. Additionally you may have angered your Dungeon Master since your character is obviously now in some strange prime material plane. Groveling won’t help so roll initiative and hope that your lobby DM roll ends up getting you backup from Barbarianna!